Tonight I "guest" bartended downtown to benefit some children's charities in the area.
Immediately i'm greeted by 2 drunk men...and this is at 6:30....these men or should I say "boys" stayed until 9pm when I left.
One of the gentlmen was 25, had a molester mustache and looked like he hadn't washed his hair in a week....I would not have been surprised if he drove a molester van.
The other gentleman was much more clean cut...but creepy by association...as he claimed him as his "best friend."
Seeing as how I just dated a man who was 29 and jobless....I inquired as to where this boy worked.....and he could not seem to tell me. He said he "works from home" and "does a lot of things"
What does that even mean?
This was NOT supposed to be a "trick" question or difficult to answer
Here's how the conversation should have went....
Me: "Where do you work"
Him: "I work ____"
So since i'm stranded behind the bar....I make conversation
Here are some excerpts:
Me: "I love living alone...I can leave laundry all over the floor and dishes in the sink and nobody can say a thing about it"
Less creepy dude: "Well you better pick up your appartment before I come over"
Shocking....a man trying to invite himself over to my appartment...why are men so comfortable inviting themselves to a woman's appartment but seem to be less comfortable inviting them on a real DATE!
Me: "How old are you?"
Less creepy dude: "25 but i'll be 26 in 3 weeks....in case you wanted to get me a gift."
Me: "Right...I'll totally send you a card" (right after hell freezes over)
Creepy friend: "How about you send my friend a BLOW JOB"
What do you say to that???
Me: "So do you and your friend share a bed" (at this point, I figure these dudes are weird...i'm just going to make jokes to try to make them feel creepy)
Creepy friend: "No...but I have the room next door....so if you guys have sex...I'll hear it"
I guess I set myself up for that one....
I think it's safe to say my carreer as a bartender stops here
OH MY GOD. I am just getting caught up on these. Obviously, these losers have no idea how to talk to a lady. Men in general have a way of trying to sound like they are joking or "blame it on the booze" but we are most honest when we are drunk, right?! The word "BJ" should not even come up in a conversation before the first 90 days of dating. (if they are lucky) I can't believe he is dropping the explicit comments when he just met you. I swear... they are all the same. I would have "accidently" spilled a "red headed slut" on them since that is what they wanted! ;)
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