I guess you could say he had a wandering eye...

I just went on a date last week with a guy who had a wandering eye...I literally didn't know where to look...one eye was looking at me and the other was looking around


I feel a little bad writing this...he wasn't a bad guy...but it was just so distracting...especially because I was completely caught off guard. Can you imagine meeting someone for the first time and realizing they have crazy eyes? 


We sat down to dinner and he was trying to ask me how my day was...and I found myself stuttering


"Uh, umm, hmmm...I can't really remember...ugh, yea...sorry, long day!"


All I could think was...how did I miss this? I'm usually good about spotting things in pictures...if a man is wearing a hat he's usually balding, if he's not smiling he usually has "snaggle teeth"...and if it says he's "5 foot anything"...subtract at least 2 inches and that's his real height! 


Nice as he may have been...I just couldn't bring myself to go on a second date.


The week before that I went out with a man who at 34 years old told me he doesn't drink and he's "way more fun sober" 


Right....


I'm thinking...ok...alcoholic? But that wasn't the case. He just didn't like drinking much. But here's the thing, if you invite a girl out for dinner, and your date orders wine...you order a glass....you don't ask if you can "share" hers...


Seriously...WTF....how old are you??? Maybe they could bring us 2 straws...


It gets better....he was telling me all these stories of things him and his friends do...I officially "checked out" of our date when he told me that him and his friends like to "geek out" and play "hide and go seek" in the dark...he even had a special name for it that I can't quite remember...something like "lights out". He continued to describe this game to me in detail...and he was really excited about it. Apparently him and his "thirty something" year old friends turn out all the lights...they even go so far as to use sticky notes to cover up the numbers on the microwave and the oven so it's "pitch black" and then someone hides...


At this point he was acting out the game...walking around with his hands out as if it was dark out...


Then he explained that when you "stumble upon someone" you have to yell out the catch phrase "lights out" or whatever it was...and get down on the ground and "play dead" until someone else finds you....


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???


He just took my lady wood from about "half mast" down to zero....I think that is the most unattractive thing I have ever heard. How does this guy ever get laid? The only way this game could have been considered half way acceptable was if there was nakedness and/or alcohol involved...

Here's a thought...you hide...and I won't come find you!