Here he is it ladies and gentlemen....
Check him out in his natural habitat. His dress: conservative yet cocky. His primary diet consists of beer and frozen dinners. He's the single man, prowling the streets looking for his prey. Here he is in action. Licking his lips at what might be his late night snack.
Sometimes it's hard to distinguish the "single man" from the "taken man" - his flirty and forward nature make it difficult for one to decern.
I often feel like i'm living a bad episode of Sex in the City, except it's not from a script...it's my freakin' life!!!
I recently ran into a predicament with a "taken man" posing as single. Upon first meeting him nearly a year ago he presented himself as very interested, not ready for a relationship...but definitely on the "prowl."
Like any predator, he stalked his prey...calculating what times might be best to go in for the kill....seeing as how he lived in the apartment downstairs, it was easy for him to stalk. After a long day of "hunting" he often thought 2am was prime feeding time.
He used to steal my parking spot to get my attention - claiming he was holding it "ransom" and other juvenile tactics such as leaving starbucks on my doorstep (which I mistakenly interpreted as thoughful) ...but as my cousin pointed out...
"In his mind, he spent $3 on starbucks hoping it might get him laid...not a huge cost to him"
Sometimes it's hard to distinguish the "single man" from the "taken man" - his flirty and forward nature make it difficult for one to decern.
I often feel like i'm living a bad episode of Sex in the City, except it's not from a script...it's my freakin' life!!!
I recently ran into a predicament with a "taken man" posing as single. Upon first meeting him nearly a year ago he presented himself as very interested, not ready for a relationship...but definitely on the "prowl."
Like any predator, he stalked his prey...calculating what times might be best to go in for the kill....seeing as how he lived in the apartment downstairs, it was easy for him to stalk. After a long day of "hunting" he often thought 2am was prime feeding time.
He used to steal my parking spot to get my attention - claiming he was holding it "ransom" and other juvenile tactics such as leaving starbucks on my doorstep (which I mistakenly interpreted as thoughful) ...but as my cousin pointed out...
"In his mind, he spent $3 on starbucks hoping it might get him laid...not a huge cost to him"
I made it clear that I was not interested in being his convenience call...but unfortunately he was quite persistant and managed to get my attention from time to time. If I did try to ignore him, I'd get texts like "helllloooooo, why are you ignoring me!!!!" He's definitely the type of person that gets by on his good looks and charm...and seeing as how he lived downstairs, I really couldn't get away from this fool.
I asked the important questions:
"Are you dating anyone"
"Do you have a girlfriend"
"Are you married"
His responses continued to be
"No"
"I'm not ready for a relationship"
"I'm trying to get my life together" "
"I'm not in a good place"
"The timing is wrong"
I'll say....
What he *should* have said was...I have a girlfriend, i'm a shady liar and a cheater...and I think with my DICK!
About a month ago I learned of his girlfriend, and thanks to facebook I know who she is...I believe his exact words were "Would you still want to hang out with me if I told you I had a girlfriend?" His texts before that read "My shower's broken, can I use yours?" and "After we eat, i'll come back to your place to use your shower" dude...I get it...you're trying to invite yourself to my place...highly inappropriate texts coming from someone with a girlfriend.
I told him to leave me the f$ck alone and suggested he use his girlfriend's shower...
He has since moved in with two chicks in Land Park...which is definitely concerning - perhaps one of them is his girlfriend? It would make sense....he's lazy, selfish, and if it's not convenient, he's not down...
He apologized and claimed he thought we were "friends", and continued to push for a "friendship" - perhaps he needs someone for when his girlfriend is out of town or when his left hand gets tired...
I feel sorry for his girlfriend, and all girlfriends of guys like that. What is it about these men...is one woman not enough?
About a month ago I learned of his girlfriend, and thanks to facebook I know who she is...I believe his exact words were "Would you still want to hang out with me if I told you I had a girlfriend?" His texts before that read "My shower's broken, can I use yours?" and "After we eat, i'll come back to your place to use your shower" dude...I get it...you're trying to invite yourself to my place...highly inappropriate texts coming from someone with a girlfriend.
I told him to leave me the f$ck alone and suggested he use his girlfriend's shower...
He has since moved in with two chicks in Land Park...which is definitely concerning - perhaps one of them is his girlfriend? It would make sense....he's lazy, selfish, and if it's not convenient, he's not down...
He apologized and claimed he thought we were "friends", and continued to push for a "friendship" - perhaps he needs someone for when his girlfriend is out of town or when his left hand gets tired...
I feel sorry for his girlfriend, and all girlfriends of guys like that. What is it about these men...is one woman not enough?
I recently spoke with another girlfriend who ran into a similar situation. A man with a girlfriend asked for her number, made several attempts to hang out with her before she figured out he had a girlfriend. He told her that unless he is married he still considers himself single.
Wow...that's a HUGE gray area...I guarantee this girlfriend of his does not share his viewpoint
He claimed he "fell" into the relationship due to mutual friends and isn't all that happy.
I'm sorry...are you being held there at gun point??? Time to put on your "big boy pants" and end it!
He won't...like most he seems to want his girlfriend...aka his "security blanket" and his hot chick on the side. It's so sad and pathetic.
Wow...that's a HUGE gray area...I guarantee this girlfriend of his does not share his viewpoint
He claimed he "fell" into the relationship due to mutual friends and isn't all that happy.
I'm sorry...are you being held there at gun point??? Time to put on your "big boy pants" and end it!
He won't...like most he seems to want his girlfriend...aka his "security blanket" and his hot chick on the side. It's so sad and pathetic.
I may be habitually single and *slightly* cynical...but at least I'm not some dude's security blanket while he runs around behind my back trying to get laid!
In the words of Charlotte from Sex in the City
I've been dating a million years....where is he???
In the words of Charlotte from Sex in the City
I've been dating a million years....where is he???
So long and farewell neighbor manchild. A woman has got to love/like a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. Hang in there girl. You’ll find your good one. Don’t let these douches bring ya down. xoxo
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